Annoying Public Bathroom Tricks
- Stick your open palm under the stall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlight?”
- Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that”.
- Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
- Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”
- Drop a marble and say, “Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!”
- Say, “Darn, this water is cold.”
- Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantalope into the toilet bowl from a high place. Sigh relaxingly.
- Say, “Now how did that get there?”
- Say, “Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.”
- Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor while yelling, “Whoa! Easy Boy!!”
- Say, “Interesting…more sinkers than floaters.”
- Using a small squeeze tube spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and rop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Could you kick that back over here, please.
- Say, “C’m, on Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!”
- Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot.”
- Say, “Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna to do?”
- Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
- Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down a copy of “Cross-Dresser Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
- Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor an say, “Peek-a-boo!”
- Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free.”
- Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
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